Tunay na Umiibig

Poetry, Uncategorized

Matagal na rin ng maramdaman ko ang tunay na umibig.
Matagal na rin nun naranasan kong hindi kumain dahil wala akong gana sa kaiisip.
Matagal na rin nun huli akong tumingin sa ulap at nangarap ng bukas ay may kapiling.
Matagal na.. matagal na nun huling narinig at naramdaman kong dumagundong ang aking dibdib.

Madami na ang dumating, madami ang nakidaan, nakisama at nakisiping,
Sa dami nalimutan ko na ang pakiramdam ng tunay na umibig.
Nalimutan ko ang pakiramdam ng kiligin, ng maghintay at buong araw na magnais.
Sa maghapong magkasama na kahi’t walang sinasambit, sa mga mata lamang nakatitig.

Hangang Isang araw biglang dumating ka, sa gitna ng aking paglalakbay ika’y aking nasilayan.
Nasilayan ko ang mga mata mong kay lambing tignan at sa maghapo’y  kay sarap titigan.
Narinig ko ang mga tinig mong kay tamis, na patuloy tumatakbo at naririnig sa aking isipan.
Nahawakan ko ang mga kamay mo, mga kamay nasa kahit sa pagtulog ay aking nais na tangan.

Sa biglaang pagkakataon naranasan kong muling hindi kumain sa kaiisip… pero hindi ako umiibig.
Namalayan ko ang sarili kong nakatingala sa ulap at ikaw ay ninanais kapiling… pero hindi ako umiibig.
Hindi inaasahang naramdaman kong tumibok ang aking dibdib… pero hindi ako umiibig.
Hindi ako umiibig… hindi ako umiibig.. yang ang pilit kong sinisiksik sa aking isip.. pero putangina… ako ay umiibig.

Pinilit kong itago, pinilit kong ilihim, sarilinin at isantabi na lamang ang aking nararamdaman.
Ninais kong huwag ipaalam at huwag iparinig ang napalakas na kabog ng aking dibdib.
Ninais kong manahimik at umasang wala… wala… walang pagasa at walang patutunguhan.
Pinilit ko… pinilit ko… pinilit kong huwag mahulog syo at unti unti kang ibigin…

Pero tulad ng isang rumaragasan tren, hindi ko na kinayang ihinto pa’t pigilan.
Tulad ng pagpatak ng ulan, hindi ko maiwasan ang pagdampi ng tubig sa aking nauuhaw na katawan.
Hindi ko napigilan ang rumaragasang pag buhos ng damdamin para sa’yo.. iniibig kita.
Iniibig kita hiyaw ng aking puso’t isipan, at sa kahit ano pang paraan hindi ko na kaya pang pigilan.

Ngunit kahit gaano man natin naisin at pilitin ay hindi ka magiging akin.
Ang mga sulyap ay mananatiling sulyap, mananatiling tapik ang mga tapik at hindi magiging yakap.
Ang mga “kamusta” ay mananatiling “kamusta” at hindi kailanman magiging “mahal kita”.
Ang mga ngiti ay kailanman may itatagong luha, ang damdamin kailanma’y mananatiling uhaw.

Muli naransan kong hindi makakain dahil sa walang tigil na pagiyak at pagiisip.
Muli naranasan kong lumuha habang nakatingin sa ulap sa pag nanais na ikaw ay makapiling.
Muli naransan ko ang sakit sa bawat tibok ng aking dumadagundong na damdamin.
Matagal na… Matagal na rin ng muli akong masaktan ng dahil sa ako ay tunay na umiibig.

Chasing Summer

Poetry

 

It’s a bit cold this morning when I woke up,
Saw the glass frosted while sipping my cup.
My morning coffee got cold easily.
My morning drive was a bit slippery.

It’s a bit cold out there this morning.
The sky’s dark, Is there a storm coming?
No morning walks, no morning jogs.
No morning talks, no morning hugs.

It’s getting colder, I miss the sun.
The cold bothers, I want to outrun.
Feel the sun’s warmth as it hits the skin.
Close my eyes and let it shine within.

It’s starting to freeze, it’s starting to numb.
Do I chase summer, or do I succumb?
Search for warmth, Keep close to the fire.
Feel summer… that is all I desire.

Hero

Poetry

 

You wanted me to run, you wanted me to fly.
I felt the need to teleport to where ever you are.
You wanted me strong, you wanted me numb.
I felt the need to morph to whatever you want.

I wanted to scream so loud so everyone could hear.
I wanted to stretch so far so everyone could feel.
I wanted to grow so big so everyone could see.
All I came up with was a wounded version of me.

I felt the fire burning, quickly it was blown away.
I felt the earth growing, quickly it was washed away.
I felt the wounds healing, quickly the scars bled.
I felt the reality changing but quickly it failed.

So many things we both wanted me to do.
I can’t be a hero to save me and you
Just a wounded person just like you.
The things that you needed are what I needed too.

Hey, You!

Poetry

Hey, You! Have I seen you somewhere?
Seems you have more lines on your face.
You used to be leaner and younger
Now, you look dull and tired on the surface.

Hey, You! I remember we used to converse
Sounds as if you can’t keep it together
You used to be jolly, always discoursed.
Now, you can’t even find your shelter

Hey, You! Weren’t you always out there?
Feels as if that something in you just dawned
You wanted to conquer, there was no mere.
Now, you sit there all curled up and walled.

Hey, You! Can’t you still recognize who I am?
After all this, you seem still can’t see.
Just a different version of what you used to dream.
It Is I, the best version of what you’re going to be.

Journey

Poetry

Sometimes it’s going to hurt,
Nothing is gonna make it sublime.
You might feel you got no support.
Don’t fret, it’s just sometimes.

Some days you’d feel blank,
Wondering why things go astray.
Still wishing you could go back.
Don’t worry it’ll be alright someday.

Somehow you’d learn to forget.
Slowly, you’d realize you can let go.
Of all the things you try to regret.
Your worries will fade away, somehow.

Somewhere along you’d find yourself,
Picking your broken pieces out there.
Remembering the true value of thyself,
You’d soon find happiness, somewhere.