At the gates of Heaven, St. Peter is waiting for each soul that enters. It was a slow day, but finally, someone arrives at the gates. Peter looks the guy over and asks, "How long were you married and how many times did you cheat on her?" The guy looks proudly at Peter and says, "In all the 25 years I was married, I never once cheated on my wife." Peter smiles and says, "Because of that, you get to ride around Heaven in a Mercedes." The car appears suddenly and the man gets in and drives off. A second guy arrives at the gates, and Peter asks him, "How long were you married to your wife and how many times did you cheat on her?" The second guy looks down and says, "10 years, and 2 times." Peter frowns a bit and replies, "For that, you will ride around Heaven in a Taurus." The car appears and the man gets in and drives off. The third man arrives in Heaven and Peter asks,"How long were you married, and how many times did you cheat on her?" The third guy replies, "5 years, and 6 times." Peter says, "You get a Honda to drive around in Heaven then." And the car appears and the man gets in and drives off. Just as the third guy gets inside Heaven, the car stalls and won't start. He gets out to see what was wrong, when he sees the first guy sitting at the side of the road, crying. The third guy asks, "What's wrong? Car trouble?" The first guy answers, "No, I just saw my wife and she was riding a skateboard."
the stpd blond
Posted in Blonde
(7 votes, average: 3.57 out of 5)
Loading ...how do you make a blond laugh on friday tell her the joke on wednesday
pepito doesnt know where the eggs fell
Posted in Funny Stories (10 votes, average: 4.1 out of 5) Loading ...One day pepito’s mom told pepito to go buy some eggs in the store so he went. While pepito was walking to the store he saw that a guy got ran over by a train. Pepito went to call his mom and he told his mom look a hand over there a hand over here a leg over there a leg over here and the head over there. Then pepito’s mom said” and the eggs? ” So pepito said ” I don’t know where they landed”
Reverse Psychology (7 votes) Hillbilly Cop (4 votes) Signs it’s Time to Stop Breastfeeding! (4 votes)Shut Up Sir!
Posted in Funny Stories (8 votes, average: 3.25 out of 5) Loading ...shut up,manners and trouble walkin dong d street,den trouble gon 2 look 4 he self(look 4 trouble),a few mins. later shut up and manners realise dat trouble gone.so shut up tell manners lewwe go in d police station nah.so dey gone.shut up tell manners to stay outside d door,while shut gorn inside. d police say ”ok we’ll need to know yuh nam,son.” ‘’shut up,sir” shut up said.”boi doh tell me shut up,i want your name.”ok shut up,sir.” ”where yuh manners boi?” manners outside,sir” ”u lookin 4 trouble?” ”yes sir”
Reverse Psychology (7 votes) Hillbilly Cop (4 votes) Signs it’s Time to Stop Breastfeeding! (4 votes)Bridal Shower Joke
Posted in Wedding (5 votes, average: 4.8 out of 5) Loading ...At a bridal shower, every guest was asked to introduce herself and explain how she met Kimberly, the bride-to-be.
“I met Kimberly while dating her brother Bob,” the first young woman said. The second girl gave the same answer. The third woman said she was Bob’s current girlfriend.
An older woman that was sitting next promptly said. “It’s nice to meet all of you,” she announced with a grin. “But I think I’d really rather meet Bob.”